"ugly suffering" Semantic reconstruction of the lived experience of ugliness

In life there are wounds that, like leprosy, silently scrape at and consume the soul, in solitude—”[1] The word "ugly" evokes many meanings, including monstrous, ridiculous, degenerate, strange, hateful, degenerate, and degenerate. Ugliness is a deviation from the standards of beauty and a label that is an unpleasant experience and a kind of heat with unfortunate consequences for the affected people. Goffman defined stigma as ‘the situation of theindividual who is disqualified from fullsocial acceptance’ (Wright, 1960). Thismight occur in relation to a visible stigmasuch as a scar or functional disability, orbecause the individual failed to conformto social norms. Goffman showed how stigmatized persons struggled toreconcile gaps between their perceivedreality and the identity expected by thesocial group. Based on the conceptual framework used in the present research, this research has described the experience and feeling and perception of people about the stigma of being "ugly". Understanding what emotions these people have experienced when they are judged and prejudiced by others, and what reactions and emotions they express, and through what strategies they have dealt with this issue. Due to the moral sensitivity of the issue in the society and respect for the self-esteem of the sample people, instead of interviews, Discreet and non-intrusive methods were used (Therefore, the possibility of influencing the research process on the sample people was also neutralized), In this way, the opinions and heartaches that were posted by these people on the sites and online chat rooms,... . were collected and entered into the Maxquda software. In this study, the main categories reached saturation in the comments of 204 users And the findings of the current research are presented in four general categories: 1- The formation of the self-concept of ugliness 2- The experience of ugliness 3- The consequences of ugliness 3- Strategies for facing the experience of ugliness.. The results of the present study showed; Most of the time, the perception of one's ugliness is more related to two factors than an inherent phenomenon, : 1- Labeling by another 2- Comparing yourself with another 3- Representation and limited definition of beauty in the media. Ugly people find themselves very different from others, and this difference causes them to feel insecure in their daily lives. These people experience very negative feelings in this regard, which create experiences and self-concepts such as being hateful, unlovable, inferior, mean and evil. The stain of disgrace and shame will be on them Among the widespread consequences of this issue, we can point out ridicule and humiliation, mental problems, low self-esteem, regression, loneliness and rejection by the opposite sex, and family formation problems. The strategies of these people in the face of the experience of being ugly can be divided into three general categories: 1-passive maladjustment strategies (crying, complaining, depression, addiction, etc.) 2-change strategies (compensation-de-identification) 3-acceptance strategies (coping and raising self-esteem, gratitude).  As mentioned earlier, ugliness is a word that has always been considered synonymous with filth and malice, shameful and ridiculous in different societies. There is this stereotyping in artworks and media representations, and angels and kind people are depicted as beautiful, but devils and evil humans are depicted as ugly and unsightly, as if outward ugliness is a sign of internal ugliness. One of the most important problems faced by these people is the existence of stereotypes and negative prejudices. It is often observed that people show altruistic and empathetic feelings when faced with people who suffer from a physical defect, but unfortunately, when it comes to the issue of ugliness, sometimes these The feelings are opposite and they show a kind of feeling of hatred and disgust and avoidance. Therefore, the biggest problem for these people is not ugliness per se, but a series of myths and stereotypes and disrespectful treatment. Throughout history, ugly people have been discriminated against, rejected, humiliated, tortured and even killed. They have seen sufferings, the sufferings they have kept silent about as if they never existed, while it has cast a terrible shadow on their lives and souls. In the words of Sadegh Hedayat: “In life there are wounds that, like leprosy, silently scrape at and consume the soul, in solitude—” Due to the negative stereotypes in the media and society about ugly people, they experience disrespectful treatment. The results of this research are a small reflection of the sad situation and deep suffering that ugly people face during their life, especially in their teenage years. this condition can be corrected and improved by changing the conventional attitude and establishing the discourse that "ugly is not evil and hateful"..