Dysfunctionality Caused by Role Strain: An Analysis of Parenting Men's Communication Challenges with Adopted Children

Family is the most important social institution in a society and marriage is a prerequisite for starting a family. However, sometimes, various factors cause breakup of the first marriage and happens again after the marriage. A review of the divorce situation in Iran shows that with the increase in population from 56 million people in 1991 to 83 million people in 2020, the number of divorces has increased from 40000 divorces in 1991 to 183000 divorces in 2020 (Yearbook of Demographic Statistics of Iran, 2020). Contrary to popular belief, people with a divorce experience are less likely to remarry and start a new marriage in an attempt to escape the same situation (Gold; 2016). Many men and women have been found to experience a divorce again after the first divorce. This is more common among men (Schweizer, 2020; Reynolds, 2020). Following the increase in divorce rates and the desire of people with a divorce experience to remarry, the number of families resulting in remarriage also increases. These families are called "stepfamilies". The demographic data that have measured the prevalence of stepfamilies in 21st century societies have shown that the majority (%86) of stepfamilies have a stepfather (Gold, 2020:146). A distinctive feature of the stepfamily is that it is a family, in which at least one child is not biologically related to both parents. It is probably true that the only observable factor that mostly distinguishes remarriage from the first marriage is the presence of children in the previous marriage. A stepfamily is unique and different from the core family. Determining how this stepfamily works, who the important adults are, and who influences the decisions in the stepfamily is a challenge (Cann-Milland, Mornane, Southcott, 2021: 13). Stepfathers are often reluctant to be disciplined because there is no clear authority given to the natural parents. If the stepfather is really disciplined, such a move may not be to the child's liking, nor can it be acceptable to the spouse. This problem of discipline seems to more commonly involve stepfathers than stepmothers since children usually stay with their mothers after divorce. It is the stepfather, who most often enters a single-parent family unit and actually experiences a daily interaction with his or her stepchildren (Goetting, 1982: 213). The share of foreign research in the field of remarriage associated with stepfamilies and stepfathers is higher than ours. Therefore, there is a need to study this phenomenon based on the social and cultural contexts of our society with regard to the fact that family in our society is one of the most fundamental institutions and the most important semantic systems of identity. Due to the research gap in the field of step-families and step-parents, the present study sought to analyze men’s experiences as step-parents and their communication challenges with their step-children, besides trying to answer the following questions: What issues and challenges does a stepfather face within the stepfamily? What are the interactions of the stepfather with the stepchild? What are the couple interactions like in this type of family? What are the socio-cultural challenges of this type of family?

Since the purpose of this research was to investigate the progress of men as stepfathers in remarriage in relation to their stepchildren, the best strategy to study this process was the grounded theory strategy with Strauss and Corbin’s systematic approach. The research participants were purposefully selected. The inclusion criteria were as follows: The participants had to be men and have an experience of remarriage after divorce. The new spouse had to have at least one child from the previous marriage with at least two years of remarriage. Also, theoretical sampling was applied. Sampling was continued until achieving the theoretical saturation so as to obtain accurate data and clearly clarify the dimensions of the study. To this goal, 15 men with an experience of remarriage and family life were interviewed in the presence of a stepchild in Isfahan with varied time periods of the interviews (minimum and maximum times of 4 and 8 hours, respectively. The data obtained from the interviews were then transcribed and analyzed via open, axial, and selective coding methods in a systematic chain-based and timed process.

The results showed that the dysfunctionality caused by role strain as a core category made the stepfamily's function problematic. The participating men experienced a heavy role strain due to a range of individual circumstances, de-functionalization contexts within the family, and normative socio-cultural processes that challenged their satisfaction with living in such families. They wanted to establish the traditional structure and order of their families, as well as stability of masculinity concepts, but different conditions, such as superiority of child over wife, parental powerlessness, etc., had destabilized the male sphere in the family and intensified their dissatisfaction. After experiencing role stress and the resulting dissatisfaction, they had chosen different strategies, including preventive and maladaptive strategies. The preventive strategy had a constructive consequence and strengthened family privacy, but this incompatible strategy could lead to re-divorce. It could be said that the underlying factors of role pressure and the adopted strategies overshadowed the family performance of step-families. Although the researchers tried to provide new statistics on remarriage, they were unable to do so due to lack of cooperation between the relevant organizations. We also encountered problems during sampling. None of the counseling centers and psychological clinics, as well as the marriage and divorce registry offices, agreed to cooperate. In addition, due to the sensitivities related to the stepfamilies, the individuals refused to introduce the related specimens, which led to time-consuming persuasion. It is suggested that the mass media, improve the relationship between stepchildren and stepfamilies by observing the principle of impartiality and avoiding value judgments and raise public awareness as well as remarriage by reviewing the media content and step-by-step plans for stepfamilies and stepfathers. It is also suggested to increase social research of men with an experience of divorce, remarriage, and step-family. Moreover, some research should be done in the field of psychology and social work in order to identify the adapting and coping approaches, find solutions to reduce role pressure, and increase the skills of people involved in managing stressors. The research on males in this field should be increased. It is necessary to hold workshops to enhance the awareness of people, who want to remarry, so as to get acquainted with the challenges of this marriage and the ways of facing these challenges. Stepfamilies need to refrain from adopting previous family styles and help strengthen the privacy and foundation of their families by reorganizing roles and responsibilities.